


A Sentient Star Gives Up On Life Goals

by Toaster_Enthusiast



Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: I hope you find it funny, I really don't have anything else to do with my life huh, Maybe you'll find it funny, Memes Probably, Personal comedy shit, Remember CIS: Comedy is subjective, This really is just for stupid shitposty stuff, Wonderful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:35:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26824504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toaster_Enthusiast/pseuds/Toaster_Enthusiast
Summary: A shitpost book about the stupid, maybe out-of-character, antics of my crewsona in their imposter form, which is basically just a space rock star furnace thing. Yeah I probably could give a better explanation, but I don't feel like doing it here. Anyways hope ya enjoy it or somethin. :]
Kudos: 9





	1. "Chapter Title."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Jesus Donut](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Jesus+Donut).



> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world ends or something like that :D

"I fucking hate you."

"I know Black," responded Yellow, who was sitting a few tables away from him at the cafeteria.

"No, not you Yellow, I was talking to Purple."

Purple, who was sitting across from Yellow did, not seem to be fazed by this, though everybody knew their non-existent tears of pain were still there. Metaphorically.

"Yes Black, I know, literally everybody here hates Purple."

"Fair. Anyways, I'm gonna go and try to fuck up the reactor again, you have fun existing here."

"Sounds good."

And with that the universe managed to implode onto itself & needless to say the ship stayed perfectly fine. After surviving, the crew decided to become space pirates that worshipped the 2011 animated classic that is Ninjago.

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst use of my limited creative abilities. Anyways hiya there, to anybody who reads these :]


	2. "Chapter Title Part Two: The Electric Boogaloo."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions are asked..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

Brown & Black are casually talking in the cafeteria.

"..So you're a star?"

"Yeah."

"..A star that can willingly, erm, 'activate' whenever desired."

"Yeah."

"And your goal was to kill us all?"

"Yeah."

"So why don't you just 'activate' and destroy the whole ship?"

"Good question."

Mistakes were made that day.

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst use of my limited creative abilities. Anyways hiya there, to anybody who reads these :]


	3. "Chapter Title Part Three: Please Give Me All Your Money."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black & Red hang out n stuff. Probably one of the more legitimate chapters..? Yeah I dunno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

Red & Black were sitting together in Admin, discussing things, as you do.

"What made ya want to join the crew, Red?"

"..Not much in particular, I guess, it was just something I was qualified to do. From past learning, I mean."

He leans back a little.

"I've always found space.. Interesting. Of course though, I ended up being stuck just learning about how to get out there.. Here. I mean, I did get to hear about -just- space for some time, but not really that much. Or as much as you might assume. So yeah, I guess I was sorta reached out to based on experience, and I really didn't have any reasons to say no. Plus, I thought actually being out here would be the best thing I could ever experience in life. Maybe I was wrong, haven't really experienced as much joy as I'd like, but it's been nice enough."

"..Were you ever close with Black. The old one."

"Yeah, why would you care?"

"Well I don't.. I don't necessarily care about your connection with him, I mean. I'm interested in Black, and want to know about him more. What were his motives?"

"... Uh, sorry but I don't really have a definitive answer for you, though if you give me a moment here.."

He sits up again.

"I think his motives were similar, he just found something cool about space, again though I'm not quite sure what part. He didn't share my past though, so he spent a lot of time learning, along with Pink. Those two were good friends.. We were all good friends with Black, he was a nice guy."

"..."

"I don't really want a response back, I know what you would try to say, and it wouldn't mean anything."

And with that, Red got up & left Admin, presumably to go talk to someone else. Oh yeah also the whole world exploded because I forgot to give it relevance so oops. (They probably won't notice.)

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst use of my limited creative abilities. Anyways hiya there, to anybody who reads these :]


	4. "Chapter Title Part Four: Put Your Hands Up & Get On The Floor."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ceiling fans are taken to greater heights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

Lime is approaching Black, who is avidly doing their best to not swipe their fake cardboard card right.

"Black."

Said 'crewmate' looks up.

"What the hell have you been doing all day?" *Not this I hope.* They thought.

"Oh I've been real busy doing a thing, I only just got here."

"..Okay, so what's the thing you've been doing all day?"

"You know the new ceiling fan we got in the cafeteria?"

"..Yeah?"

"Well ya see Lime, I got a spare rope & a wheelie-chair, tied the rope to one of the fan's blades & the chair, then turned the fan on and sat in the spinning wheelie-chair for around 4 hours straight."

"..Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes."

"And you're telling me nobody happened to see you do this?"

"Oh no, Cyan was there too, he wanted to go next once I was done."

"So Cyan's on the wheelie-chair thing right now?"

"Yup."

"..."

"You're absolutely useless."

And thus the ship crashed, as everybody, except for Lime, was pre-occupied waiting in line to ride the wheelie-chair. Turns out Lime isn't that qualified to run a whole spaceship.

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst use of my limited creative abilities. Anyways hiya there, to anybody who reads these :]


	5. "Chapter Title Part Five: Time To Go Commit Not Alive."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black does a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

A single Woosh can be seen floating through space.

He thinks about past events, failures, his minimal accomplishments.

All for what? To just end up back in space again. 

Well there was still space debris everywhere, so it wouldn't be too hard to find a way back down to Arslain.

Despite what would seem to be a terrible event, he couldn't help but smile.

Though not really because he does not have a mouth.

Just pretend or something, that'd be a lot easier than actually writing a reaction.

Why he is happy at this moment? 

Well, you see..

-At The Skeld-

"Why if it isn't a nice lil gift left by our dear friend Black!"

"Black's dead, Green," Blue responded dully.

"Well yeah 'cause we killed him."

"Were you actually friends with Black?"

"Well no, but I'd like to think of it that way."

"..Why?"

Green does not respond, and opts to just stare at Blue instead, her intentions unclear.

The others soon join them, as Blue takes the gift from Green's cold hands.

"Whatever, might as well open the gift."

Green does just that, though is disappointed to only see a piece of paper.

On that paper are a string of letters & numbers put together in such a way that could strike fear into the hearts of all that witnessed- neigh heard it!

Without any context, the string could be understood, it could be understood oh so well..

What followed the realization was a collective, "God dammit-"

They had been rickrolled, and thus were being sued by Iowa for the misuse of a deadly war-ending weapon.

"Gottem"

-End-

(Also I guess Iowa exists here.. No other state, only Iowa. There can only be Iowa. Fear Iowa.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst use of my limited creative abilities. Anyways hiya there, to anybody who reads these :]


	6. "Chapter Title Part Six: The World Will Be Saved By Toothpicks."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in a completely unrelated timeline where the crew gets sued by Iowa..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

"Well shit, what do we do now?" 

Brown was at a loss as she, along with all the other crewmates, learned that they were being sued by Iowa.

"We could try to get them nuked."

"Black no we're not going to be nuking Iowa."

"Why not."

"..We're not going to nuke Iowa."

"Well what else can we do?"

"Not nuke Iowa."

Black gets up & starts running towards Navigation.

"Screw you guys I'm gonna go nuke Iowa by myself."

"Black, please.."

He stops right before leaving the cafeteria.

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING STOP ME."

He then went & nuked Iowa.

-Sometime Later-

"Well, at least we're not being sued any-"

"Cyan. We're going to get arrested."

-End-


	7. "Chapter Title Part Seven: I Don't Feel Like Rhyming Something With Seven."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Public hanging isn't cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this seriously. Or actually, maybe do. Dunno if that would make it any more enjoyable then the garbage that it currently is

Woosh & White were having a very meaningful conversation in the cafeteria.

"Ya know it'd only take a few seconds for me to suplex you."

"Very cool, anyways, what'd you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to tell you about how long it'd take for me to suplex you."

"Black, we're trying not to die out here, can you not do stuff like this."

"It's important information."

"..."

Cyan can be heard yelling from the distance.

"COME ON WOOSH GO SUPLEX HER STUPID ASS"

White experienced pain that day.

-End-

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the worst use of my limited creative abilities. Anyways hiya there, to anybody who reads these :]


End file.
